Dec 20, 2004

I Like Coffee

In fact, I like coffee a lot. I like it black, I like it with cream or milk, I like with with sugar or with one of those girlie non sugar sweeteners. I like any combination of them in my coffee. About the only thing I don't like as far as coffee goes are some of the flavors. I want my coffee to taste mostly like coffee. To my way of thinking if you need to buy a chocolate flavored coffee and add all sorts of stuff to it, maybe you are drinking the wrong thing.

Dennis Leary has a great bit about flavored coffee.

“I’m driving around in my truck, and I see a 7-Eleven, and I think, “Of course, 7-Eleven! I can get a cup of coffee flavored coffee in 7-Eleven. What could be more than the 7-goddamn-Eleven?” I walk in there, sure enough, two big aluminum containers, like the old days, right? One’s labeled decaf, the other one has no label, what would you think? I think you would think what I thought. I pour myself a nice cup of coffee, I get up to the counter, go there to pay for it, behind the counter is another eighteen-year-old kid, okay?

So I’m standing there with my coffee, trying to pay for my coffee, he’s looking at me… I take my coffee and leave. I get in the truck, I’m drivin’, coffee’s in the cupholder, I’m thinking about what a FUCKING retard that kid was, hopin’ my kids don’t turn out like that, all of a sudden I smell maple syrup in my truck. Did the kids spill maple syrup in here? And then I realize it’s coming from my coffee, somebody spilled maple syrup in my coffee. I go BACK to the 7-goddamn-Eleven, walk in, put the cup on the counter, I go, “Yo. Yo yo yo yo yo. Come here. Come here. Somebody spilled maple syrup in my coffee.” “No, that’s the flavor of the month, man. That’s, uh, maple nut crunch.” Maple nut crunch, okay? Maple nut fucking crunch. Are you gonna tell me that Juan Valdez is down in Bogota right now fielding a field full of maple nuts, I don’t fucking think so! In fact, I’m willing to bet my left maple nut that he’s NOT! Pull up your pants. My mom used to tell me when I was growing up, “Denis, why don’t you wake up and smell the coffee.” You know what, ma? I did, it smelt like fucking waffles, okay? Why don’t you just throw all the breakfast stuff in my coffee? Yeah, put an egg in there, eggaccino. How about some Cocoa Puffs, puffaccino. God damn it.”

-Denis Leary, Lock’N'Load

So, where was I? Coffee..... I really like coffee. It's almost midnight right now and I'm drinking some while I type. I drink it all day. My blood pressure is still ok, I sleep fine, though not much. I was worried about the sleeping thing for a while. I stopped all caffeine intake for two weeks. I still didn't sleep much. So my being awake a lot is more me than the coffee. Coffee does help me get going in the morning, but I can usually get going with out it too. So the addiction factor, at least so far, is in my head.

I'm sure part of this is an after effect of my being a recovered alcoholic. When I quit drinking I used to do things to take the place of the drinking and the rituals involved. I don't mix cocktails for myself anymore, I grind beans. I mix different kinds of beans.

There is a local coffee place called
  • Alterra Coffee
  • and they have incredible coffee. Plus a lot of places here in Milwaukee carry it. My favorite of the moment is Voltaire’s Passion.It's a nice dark blend and very earthy. Good stuff.

    My adopted brother, Jeremy Lynch, brings me coffee when ever he visits. He even got me a pound of Bun E. Carlos's coffee.
  • Bun E Carlos
  • is a great drummer, but he also knows good coffee. It also might explain some things about the tempo of Cheap Trick songs....
    Ok, enough about coffee. I'm going to get another cup.....



    11 comments:

    Jennifer Jordan said...

    Deja Java! Last night, before I creeped under the covers, My mind spewed a whole 'I like coffee' post that I never posted. Damn eerie, that!

    I like exclamation points!

    Gotta go!

    Bryon Quertermous said...

    I hate coffee, but I love Dennis Leery. That bit is one of the funniest he's got going. I really miss "The Job" it was a sitcom with Dennis Leary as an NYPD detective, hilarious shit. Where was I?

    Oh yeah, I hate coffee flavored coffee. I like all the frilly stuff like vanilla and whipped cream and carmel. If I'm paying $3 for it, it damn well better have more than coffee in it. For pure caffination of my system, Diet Coke is my drug of choice.

    When I was a reporter every other person on the desk went through pots and pots of coffee a day. The girl who trained me had this big ass mug the size of a small compact car and she filled it up at least once and hour. Of course, she was the only who never needed a company car because she could fucking fly everywhere.

    Luckily, the pop machine was also free so I could get my caffeine fix without having to brave the nasty kicthen or get stuck on the coffee making rotation. That free pop was the only good thing I ever got out of the newspaper business...

    Aldo said...

    Coffee runs through my vains, more exactly high test expresso. Like Ray Banks, if I could ingest warm motor oil, it would probably allow me to stay up 24 hours at a clip. Man I hate to know what the caffeine bottom might be like.

    Jon The Crime Spree Guy said...

    Aldo, Warm motor oil tastes horrible. I found out by accident but that doen't lessen the experience...

    Byron, Diest coke is a great source of caffine (1 of the food groups as far as I'm concerned)

    Sean said...

    I think coffee is what separates us from the Brits, and thereby, the apes. But, every now and then, I must say it is nice to let the monkey out and sip some chai, with 'biscuits' and some good "oregano" if you know what I mean crime spree. Good stuff that coffee and that Mr. Valdez... he's an actual person you know.

    Jon The Crime Spree Guy said...

    I do like chai every now and again. It's kind of a healthy caffine......

    Jennifer Jordan said...

    You mean... caffeine's ass? The sole's of caffiene's feet? Are you being philosopical, thusly confusing my more concrete mental leanings at the moment?

    WHAT do you mean - caffeine's bottom?

    Aldo said...

    Ah Jen,
    The metaphysics of a true coffee drinker. Damn, now you can see why I'm having trouble finishing said article. What I meant to say is I'm not looking forward to wicked headache during caffeine withdrawls, thus a bottom (or hitting bottom). I do like the term caffeine ass.

    Jennifer Jordan said...

    Dear Lord! Reaching coffee bottom and being a caffeine ass as a result. Oh, the pain, the suffering, the stammering incomplete sentences.

    Argh, I say, argh!

    BTW, I love Ryan Adams.

    Kevin Jackson said...

    Well, this is interesting. I did a blog search for caffeine pill and found your site. When I get some time I'll come back and find out where caffeine pill appears and how it relates - if it even does. Take care - nice work.

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