Aug 25, 2009

Don't call me stupid

I've been letting something build up a bit inside me and I think it's abot time to let it it out.

I'm tired of being treated like a moron by advertisers and politicians and other people forcing things on us. Commercials are making me crazy! And I'm tired of being talked at instead of spoken to.

Miller has an ad for a beer with 64 calories (the fact that it has no tase is insult enough). in the various ads a waiter will come by and give someone a bottle of this water they call beer. The second party get what they ordered in a screwed up looking glass. A wine glass cut in on the sides, a half beer mug, whatever. And the waiter will say here's your Miller 64 and here's 64 calories of your whatever. This is followed by a smug look.
Who the Hell orders 64 calories worth of wine? No one. These beers try to make you feel bad for ordering something besides a crappy beer by insulting you.
Bite Me Miller Brewery.

Watching various food shows mean seeing cable TV ads. I can't believe anyone watches any of these the Real Housewives of (insert city here) shows. Really? Rich women who are pampered screaming and yelling and acting high school kids is what people want? I know I feel better about busting my hump to pay bills when I see these women act like bitches.

Julia Louise Dreyfus is doing food ads for some diet brand. Her agent keeps going against her wishes and tricking her. I don't think so. She may not be on Seifeld anymore but she's still a star and she wouldn't put up with it. The whole commercial is an insult to intelligence.

ATT's roll over minutes.... The kid telling Mom he threw away his minutes bcause they were old. Sorry kid, you are too stupid to have a phone at all. And I'm not going to get their dam cell service because I find it insulting.

The commercials for Microsoft's Big Search.... Oh my God. All these people babbling and talking at once. If some thing makes me run for a remote and mute button I am pretty sure I won't be using the product.

Spraying Fabreeze does not clean a room.

Plugging a odor device into the wall or using batteries instead of a candle? Really?

Some other minor annoyances:
I don't want a bagger at the grocery store to give me attitude if I want to bag my own groceries.

I don't meed McAfee giving pop up windows every hour to remind me to update my damn program. It stops if you update. Really computer help geek? How about I update when I damn want to? In fact I don't want anything to update automatically.

I don't have a cell phone and I don't text. Guess what I still feel connected.

Mailing me a letter or pamphlet about being green... Really? Nice way to save trees.

I don't need a commercial or ad to tell me what drugs I need, that's why I have a doctor.

I know one thing for sure about health care, I want the plan my senator has.

If you didn't vote, you don't get to complain, about anything!

TV weather people, it's just a thunder storm. Stop interrupting my television shows to tell me it's raining!

If you want to sell me something, or get me to use a product, don't talk down to me.

I want to hear it!

In other news, it was a nice day outside
and I love all my friends and family!


MysterLynch said...

Too much coffee, or not enough coffee?

Chris said...

We canceled cable and threw out the rabbit ears about 4 years ago, and keep the TV around only for watching the occasional DVD. It was by far the smartest thing we've ever done. There is not better way to get away from the bullshit than doing that.

But you know what REALLY pisses me off? How places in the midwest cut their pizza slices into tiny little chunks. When I order a pizza, I'm not looking to feed a troupe of boy or girl scouts. I'm not trying to give everyone a little bit. I want pie slices, that are wide on one end and pointy at the other. The fewer the better. Jesus, that drives me insane.

I've also been in rental cars where the music gets quieter as the car slows down. That pisses me off. Just because I'm exiting the highway it doesn't mean I want any less volume out of my Rock. If I want it quieter, I'll turn it down myself. Jesus, that also drives me insane.

Maria Lima said...

Jon - this is why I no longer have cable TV, nor a TV. Any shows I watch are from iTunes or via DVD. I don't like being pandered to.

Nice rant, though. ::g::

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on the Bing ads. I've used Google for years, and at no point did it ever make me shout the lyrics to Oklahoma! when someone asked about Tulsa.

Locally, we have an ad that they always run TWICE back to back. It starts with President Obama saying "If you plan to buy a car, I hope you buy an American car...", then a used car dealer shouts, "American cars are back!"

Now, were this a Ford ad... Well, actually, if it were a Ford ad, you'd get Mike Rowe talking TO you, not AT you, reminding you that, hey, they build good cars and managed not to go bankrupt in the process.

Instead, it's a Chevy dealer. Not that I have anything against Chevy, but HOW THE HELL CAN CHEVY BE BACK WHEN THE 2010's HAVEN'T EVEN COME OUT YET?!?!?!

Yes, Jeremy. No coffee yet.

Jen Forbus said...

While I reckon I always have something to complain about, these have to do with the time of year - beginning of school (I no longer have cable either).

There is really no good reason why a school bus has to stop 5 times in less than 50 yards to pick up kids on one stretch of single-lane road. Have the kids all meet at one spot. Granted there are no sidewalks, but 1.) it won't kill them to walk on the lawn or 2.) the school district would probably save more money in gas then the cost of the sidewalks if they put them in themselves!

And my second rant. Can we please stop having the mentality that it is more important to have the latest EXPENSIVE fashions and cell phones and gadgets and even cars than it is to have school supplies like paper and pencils? It's ironic how a student will never forget to bring his/her cell phone to school but remember homework or supplies? Heaven forbid!

Max Allan Collins said...

You don't have to throw out your cable or tear down your antenna to avoid commercials. Anyone still putting up with commercials is...well, calling them "stupid" wouldn't be in the spirit of the post. Or would it? Tivo and similar devices (ours comes from the cable company) means any commercial-ridden series or show is easily sped through with an amazing new device called a remote control.

My pet peeve can be summed up with a simple question: Must everyone in a parking lot make a phone call while backing out?

Jon The Crime Spree Guy said...

We actually dropped cable service for a bare bones package. When we plugged into our new TV we discovered we get like five or six stations and so we like to watch Food Network when we don't want to think.
90 percent of the time when the TV is on we are watching something on DVD.
So here's a DVD rant. How come DVDs for televisions shows can't be bothered to set a function to let me PLAY ALL?
Hawaii Five-O makes you click through the damn menu every time you want to see another episode. How am I supposed to be a happy American when I have to do all that extra work?

And I agree about the parking lot cell phone users. they make me nuts.

Jen Forbus said...

Yeah! I want a play all on my TV series DVDs too!!

Judy Bobalik said...

In Chicago we have Luna carpet ads where these women talk to their new floors. Very campy local commercials.
I agree with Al why do people have to be on the cell phone when backing up.
If Jon got TiVo he would just have to find something else to rant about.
And keeping with old people ranting I hate that my neighbor lets their dogs run through my yard. Yard too big to have a fence but that doesn't mean it's a playground for the dogs. I'm thinking bear traps.

Ann Voss Peterson said...

Okay, I have to chime in.

It's fewer calories. Not less calories. Fewer calories. It's plural, for God's sake. Less fat, fewer calories.

And I hear curmudgeon is the new sexy. That's what my husband tells me, anyway. ;)

Janet Reid said...

I've been without television at all since 2001. It's amazing how peaceful life is (even reading the darkest of thrillers!) when there are no ads to mess with your inner peace.

And of course, with Netflix instant downloads you can watch a lot of stuff from TV sans commercials.

Everytime I go to a conference and stay in a hotel with a television I'm reminded of how insidious ads are. How can you help but want/need after watching endless cycles of them?

Anonymous said...

I pretty much mute commercials. My pet peeve has to do with being forty and not knowing any of the stars that are selling me things on TV. I haven't seen High School Musical and I don't have cable so half the people they talk about on ACCESS HOLLYWOOD mean nothing to me no matter how cute and shiny they are.

Oh, and Monsanto, the "food" people. What's up with them?

Ali Karim said...

I hate TV - rarely watch it, apart from using it for DVD viewing. It's liberating not having the thing insulting your mind.

Harlan Ellison's term THE GLASS TEAT seems very apt, and as a form of 'mind-control' TV is the ebst at controlling the mind with cack


Ayo Onatade said...

Loved the rant Jon, most of which I agree with. It is actually illegal here in the UK to drive and talk on your cell/mobile at the same time. Not that a majority of people pay attention. I hate the fact that because I live in a block of flats people assume that I am on the dole and don't work. I get pissed off by the fact that I have a yearly travel pass which is covers the tube, bus and train but I invariably always end up standing on the train as I commute to work. Kids that can't be bothered to pay their fares and will then kick up a stink when they are caught delaying everyone as they pick a fight with the driver. Parents who allow their kids to swear at other people for no reason and can't be bother to not only tell the kids off but ask them to apologise. Restaurants that charge 3 times what it costs for a bottle of water. Counsel that don't obey deadlines and then proceed to ask at the last minute for more time. People that ring me up at work asking for information because they can't be bothered to look the information up on the website where it is. I could go on......

Jay W said...

Max has the key. I have Dish Network and their DVR rocks. They have a 30 second ahead jump feature that lets you jump ahead 30 seconds every time that you click the button. All I do now is record shows and any time that an ad comes on, I click the 30 seconds ahead button 6 times or so and I'm back to my show. I haven't watched a commercial in months.

I certainly agree with your points, however. Advertisers do treat us as morons. No wonder we all spend our money on books instead.

Anonymous said...

TimeWarner is my TiVo
I shall not rant
It tapeth me Family Guy
To rewatch when I'm home during the day
It tapeth me shows of green pastures
From the Discovery Channel and History
For lo, I walk in the shadow of My Name Is Earl,
I shall fear no evil
Thy Ice Road Truckers and reruns of The Wire comfort me
Thou preserveth eps of Battlestar Galactica for me
And filleth my head with HBO
And I shall dwelleth on my couch forever
Free of commercials

(I'm going to hell, aren't i?)

Unknown said...

I am tired of former professional soccer players promoting Generic Cialis or other ED pills, I have no trouble myself why the heck do they have to tell me their bed issues.