Jun 21, 2009


You’ve arrived at this destination because you are a mystery fan. You are also a fan of Crimespree. Many have looked at Jon and Ruth over the years and thought they are the perfect couple. Mainly, mostly, we agree. But sometimes we look at each other and wonder, “Why doesn’t she/he get it?”
It happens a lot when the T.V. goes on. This is an area where my husband’s level of tolerance is much higher than my own. The one thing we’ve always agreed upon is no reality T.V. Granted, we’ve both strayed…. Queer Eyes for the Straight Guy, Trading Spaces, Project Runway (me) , Dancing with Stars (me). We quickly regroup. Time sucks are at a minimum.
When we discovered we had the Food Network on our most basic of cable packages we checked it out. And we’re hooked. And so it was with anticipation we looked forward to the “Next Food Network Star-season 5”.
Our virgin voyage and no, I don’t think we’ll go back but we are entertained and at this point invested. We agree or not on many points about the remaining seven chefs but we both agree….
The main reason…. Teddy is trying to play the Richard Hatch strategy. You remember him? The naked fat guy who lost a lot of weight on Survivor, season one and was later jailed for tax evasion.
I’ll sit down for dinner with Richard Hatch before I’ll eat one or attempt to cook one conceived by Teddy…. Attention waning, Jordan’s regrouping. About to take channel 67 off of the favorite list.
He is evil, a personality who knows how to cook but plays his fellow competitors in the way of the worst master chef. Now Teddy was saved from elimination this week by Bobby Flay (we love you Bobby). Bobby’s argument was that Teddy is a better Chef than Eddie. What the hell does that have to do with it? This man has intentionally undermined competitors in each of the first three weeks of the challenge. Helping Mom Melissa plate her dish and then letting Brett present a competence question during evaluation? HISSSSS. This week, after a week where he managed to get one cook tossed off and another’s integrity questioned he had a partner. Good luck to her. Debbie managed to shine. The appetizer she presented to the dinner party sang to all. Then came the collaborative effort. The fact that these two chefs created a meatloaf that foodies raved over? Amazing. And then the words.. from Teddy… “I consider this my dish” Okay, so
Debbie only created the sauce and conceived of the spices, Teddy actually mixed the meat and egg… PLEAAZE.
And here’s a question. Why, when we all know that the most quickly a meatloaf (at any temp.) can cook is thirty minutes, why oh why did Teddy not start on his dessert any sooner than the five minute mark? It was the worst dish I’ve ever seen presented on Food Network (like all five months worth, ever). Could he have worked on it, conceptualized it and made it great? Shortcake, Vanilla, fresh strawberries and whipped cream?
It must also be noted that Debbie (pre-backstabbing) made Teddy shine, she allowed him to reach a presentation level where he came off as pure and not phony for the first time. And then he dissed her. He failed, miserably. Don’t drag this out Food Network. Don’t allow him to succeed with a season one trick in season five. All of us who have been or worked with chefs know about personality. We’ve dealt with it and stood or run.
His personality is unacceptable and would make any kitchen in this country an unhappy one. Happy food never comes from an unhappy kitchen. This is a truth. I’d never work in a TEDDY kitchen and JON would never sous.
Back to the mystery of it all….. Ladies and Gents who write “culinary” or “recipe” mysteries… if the food network doesn’t see the light could you PLEASE put this in words for us?


Jordans x 2

We noted that only four percent of the food networkers are voting for a TEDDY ELIMINATION, but come on people, do not take away our reality TV.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You should read FoodNetworkHumor.com - they hate Teddy Folkman more than you do!